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PFLAG Chapter Launches in Aberdeen

Thursday, 26 June 2008 09:33

Article published Jun 24, 2008 in Aberdeen American News

Alone no more in Aberdeen

Chapter established to help support gays, lesbians, their friends, families

2008-06-24 Twenty years ago, when Heidi Houghtaling's sister told her she was a lesbian, Houghtaling said she prayed for God to change her sister.  God's answer wasn't what Houghtaling expected.  "He didn't change her; he changed me," said Houghtaling, of Aberdeen.  "He helped me to be loving and accepting and understand her."

Still, when her daughter Melissa came out as a lesbian 10 years ago, it was not something Houghtaling was fully prepared for.  "Our love for her didn't change," Houghtaling said.  But she and her husband, Curt, had to readjust the vision they had for their daughter's future.  Plus, they feared for her well-being, she said.  "What was life going to be like for her?" Houghtaling said she wondered. "What kind of discrimination would she face in the future?"  Today, those fears for Melissa Houghtaling, now 28 and an attorney in Minneapolis, are gone.  "We couldn't be more proud of her," Heidi Houghtaling said.

But now she knows there is a need for support of parents of gays and lesbians.  Houghtaling, along with David Fischer, Angela Cleberg and Kathryn Costas, all of Aberdeen, have started an Aberdeen chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

Getting together:  The group's first meeting will be 2 p.m. Sunday at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 1015 U.S. Highway 281 North.  Thereafter, PFLAG will meet at 2 p.m. the fourth Sunday of each month at Holy Cross.  Most meetings will include a speaker, film or topic for discussion.  Meetings are confidential.  For more information, call Fischer at (605) 225-1241 or send an e-mail to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Nationally, PFLAG dates back to the 1970s.  Today, the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit has more than 200,000 members in more than 500 chapters across the United States, according to its Web site, www.pflag.org.

What organization does:  PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people, Houghtaling said, as well as their families and friends.  According to the organization's Web site, it does this through: "support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights."

Support and education are also the main goals of Aberdeen's PFLAG chapter, Cleberg said.  It is open to anyone wanting to support the cause, she said.  "It's a need that needed to be filled," Cleberg said.

Costas said education and support for families of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people are the main reasons for her involvement in PFLAG.  The organization also does a lot of advocacy for issues, she said.  Two of the most important issues, she said, are reducing hate crimes and making sure schools are safe for gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people.

Fischer said the group will give out factual information and dispel myths and stereotypes.  PFLAG also offers support for young adults who are having a difficult time coming to terms with their sexuality, he said.

Hub City presence: Fischer said he has wanted a PFLAG chapter in Aberdeen for a long time. Sioux Falls, Rapid City and Fargo, N.D., all have one.  "I really felt that there's a need for Aberdeen to have this as well," he said.

But, Fischer said, "Eventually, (it would) be great if we didn't need it."  "If only we accepted people's sexual orientation like we do the color of their eyes," Houghtaling said, " ... there would be no need for an organization like PFLAG."
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